Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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