My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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