I looked at my own cervix.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
