Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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