I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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