I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you never un-have a 4some
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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