you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
