i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
