We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
