Buhtt sex?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
