If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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