Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
two words...techno handjob
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I want to fling myself into the sun
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
