There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think people are normalizing furries
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
