Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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