Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
