Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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