I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
