how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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