I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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