He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
