I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
