mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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