Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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