Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize