So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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