Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
