Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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