I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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