is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
