The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
