so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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