I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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