I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
