so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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