Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
