i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
