i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
