return my video game
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
