I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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