If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
