a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
