Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
