somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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