Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
