i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dick very happy bro
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
