Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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