i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
