real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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