I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
