well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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