coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I am midnight drunk by noon
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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