Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
