your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
