you would pick up someone in the library
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
