if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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