Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just took my morning after pill in the library
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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