my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize