if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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