I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
