Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
