my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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