worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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