we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
